


At Least I'm Trying

by notsodarling



Series: birthday appreciation [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: 2x06 Fix It Fic, Fluff, Multi, Where No One Leaves and Everyone is Happy Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28799589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsodarling/pseuds/notsodarling
Summary: What if Alex didn't leave that morning?
Relationships: Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: birthday appreciation [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111544
Comments: 11
Kudos: 22





	At Least I'm Trying

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MayGlenn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayGlenn/gifts).



> This year, for my birthday, I opened up my inbox for requests and prompts.
> 
> Title from "this is me trying" by Taylor Swift
> 
> <3

"Thanks, Sheriff."

Alex ends the call, satisfied that at least an investigation would start, even if he wasn't sure that it would lead anywhere, not with the brothers having disappeared.

He spins around at the sound of the Airstream door opening and closing, and smiles as Michael joins him outside, two coffee cups in his hands.

"Maria still asleep?"

Something tugs at his heart as he asks, knowing that he's letting Michael go. Even if he's trying to accept that they're no good for each other, because he'd watched them together last night, the careful and protective way he'd been around Maria, the way he'd looked at her, kissed her, the slow and thoughtful way he'd moved above her.

But Michael just nods his head, holding out the second coffee mug.

"You don't have to leave," Michael replies instead, and Alex stares at him, because yes, he does.

"Last night was," he starts, the words getting caught in his throat. He doesn't regret last night, any part of it. He'd needed to feel safe, he'd needed to feel comfort, and he was with the only two people in the world he knew could give him that. "I never thought I'd have a threesome with my best friend and my first love."

Michael smiles at his words. "First love?"

Mindful of the coffee cups they're both holding, Alex moves closer to him, their eyes locked the whole time, but Alex tries to make it entirely clear what he's about to do. Michael is a vision right now - pants hung low on his hips, shirt open and unbuttoned, his hair a tangly, curly mess in the soft morning light.

Kissing Michael Guerin has always been as easy as breathing. 

"I don't know if I can stay."

He pulls away just as the door to the Airstream flies open, Maria has the blanket from Michael's bed wrapped tight around her shoulders, and she looks annoyed. When Alex glances over at Michael, he notices he's staring at him, perhaps in reaction to what he'd just said, but it's the truth. He doesn't see how it's possible, no matter how much he wants it.

"You better not be leaving," Maria snaps, stepping onto the wooden board in front of the trailer.

"Maria, I-"

"Do you think I'm blind? Or stupid? I know you don't want to go."

He smiles at her, loving everything that she is. He's gotten good - too good perhaps - at ignoring his own wants and needs over the past decade. But loving Michael, thinking he could be with Michael, has only ever brought the two of them pain and heartache. And isn't it better he move on, and let Michael do the same?

"How does this work if I don't? How do we-" he stops himself, because he doesn't want to even entertain the possibility. If he does, he will allow himself to hope for a different future, and right now he's not sure he'd be able to handle having Michael and losing him again.

Maria stands her ground, toes curling around the edge of the wood, as she stubbornly refuses to step down into the dirt.

"We'll figure it out."

He walks toward her, moving to stand in front of her, letting her reach out and place her hands on his face, pulling him in enough to kiss him. Like last night, it's soft and comforting, and exactly what he'd needed to know he was safe and protected. This morning is no different, Maria's touch always being one he welcomes.

"I know the universe isn't fair," she continues, pulling back just far enough to press their foreheads together. "That we would both end up loving the same person. But this doesn't have to be an either-or thing. We can figure it out together."

They pull back from each other, and Alex watches as Maria holds out her hand toward Michael. He takes it, of course, but his eyes barely leave Alex's own the entire time. 

"Don't leave," Michael says, pulling him in, hands cradling his face gently, and Alex feels himself melting into the touch. "Please."

He can feel Maria's eyes on him still, her hand in his own, giving it a comforting squeeze. Michael is standing in front of him, holding his face, waiting to see what he'll do.

And he wants to stay. He wants to crawl back into the tiny bed with the two of them, curl back up into Michael's side, feeling only safety and comfort and-

"You're thinking too loud," Maria laughs, and he turns to look at her, losing Michael's hands on his face in the process. "Or did you-" Her voice shifts, quieter, and he shakes his head immediately, needing her to not ask that question.

"No." He tries to assert his reply, he knows what she's worried about, and he doesn't want her to start to believe he regrets any part of last night. "No, I just - it's a lot to process. I never thought - a threesome with my best friend and my first love? I woke up this morning thinking I didn't have any other choice. No matter how badly I wanted to stay - I thought I'd have to try and walk away from this, from my best friend and first love - so the two of you could be happy."

Michael's face perks up at the mention of  _ first love _ , making it impossibly harder for him to believe he can turn around and leave. And even if  _ first love _ is accurate for what Michael is to him, it’s also not enough, because what he feels for Michael runs so much deeper than that - Michael had shouted  _ cosmic _ across the junkyard, a work to describe them and their inexplicable pull to one another, and he’d immediately agreed. 

It was the only word that  _ fit _ .

“It’s just details,” Maria continues, pulling him up onto the platform. “We can figure them out later. Can we please go back inside now?”

“But what about the two of you-”

She rolls her eyes, giving his hand a squeeze, leading him back inside the trailer without saying a word. He barely gets a look back at Michael, who is still smiling, shaking his head, but his eyes are wide, and Alex hopes that’s happiness reflecting back.

Inside, Maria pulls him down on the bed, curled up into his side again as they lean back against the wall, similar to the way she had last night.

“Guerin’s gonna make us breakfast,” she says as Michael steps inside, pausing at the foot of the bed, in front of the kitchenette.

“I am?”

Alex smiles, feeling himself relax finally, stealing a glance at Maria who raises an eyebrow at him conspiratorially. 

“How about those omelettes Maria said you made her?”

Michael lets out a laugh, light and happy, and neither he or Maria have a chance to react before Michael is crawling on the bed towards them, leaning in and pressing kisses to his lips before leaning over and doing the same to Maria.

He’s still not sure how this is going to work, but he trusts Maria. And he trusts Michael. Something like this had never even crossed his mind before last night, but seeing how well it did work, how they all fit together, moved together - maybe at the least they can try. Maybe he doesn’t have to feel like he’s losing Michael at all, like he needs to move on. 

Maybe he can stay.

As Michael stands up again, starting to bang around the cabinets, Maria leans back over toward him, and he feels her breath near his ear. “He loves you, you know.”

A quick glance toward her, before his gaze is pulled back in the direction of Michael.

“I know,” he agrees, because it is true. He’s known that for a long time. Even with every problem they’ve had over the years,  _ love _ has never been one of them. “He loves you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
